[see: Wikipedia: Tom Swifties, Tom Swifties Written By An Author Willing To Go To Any Lengths To Make A Tom Swifty Thus Resulting In Constructions That Often Require More Work For Readers Than For The Author, and Fifty Swifties. Previously on Twitter here.]
“This sandwich is gross,” Tom said deliberately.
“My Frisbee is stuck on the roof of that circus building,” Tom said discontently.
“I hate Google,” Tom said probingly.
“Godzilla swallowed a United Nations bunker, but then he threw it back up,” Tom said unfortunately.
“I think Objectivism is stupid,” Tom said randomly.
“It’s so exciting to visit Leonardo’s birthplace,” Tom said invincibly.
“Persephone must marry Hades and live with him half the year,” Zeus said despairingly.
“I now control majority shares of CBS, FOX, and the New York Times,” Tom said immediately.
“Enemy fighters just scored a direct hit on my plane! I’m going down!” Tom said knowingly.
“We were badly injured in the struggle with the Orcs, but luckily the Ents’ medicine restored our health,” Tom said tremendously.
“I took Gollum’s precious trinket in a riddle contest,” Tom said wonderingly.
“I’ve lost this Maxis game ten times in a row on the easiest difficulty setting,” Tom said sympathetically.
“I can commit adultery three more times and still be just under the threshold for damnation,” Tom said syntactically.
“O Lord, why are you punishing me like this?” Jonah said inefficiently.
“Look! Nicaraguan guerillas!” Tom contraindicated.
“I forgot to give up meat before Easter, so I’ll do it before Christmas,” Tom said redolently.
“I’ll see you in court!” Tom said supersonically.
“When I speak Japanese, I think of myself as a young, cute person,” Tom said mechanically.
“Iä Cthulhu! Iä Azathoth!” the man called maniacally.
“Stay away from Stalin,” Tom commissioned.
“It’s one of those old phones, from before wireless and touch-tone,” Tom said cordially.
“She’ll have sex with me for $20 any time I phone her up,” Tom said horrifically.
“I read the Cliff Notes to Dante’s Inferno,” Tom said synergistically.
“I’m going to recover the lunar lander from the surface of the moon and make a fortune,” Tom said apologetically.
“I covered myself in a layer of gold,” Tom said amblingly.
“I covered myself in a layer of pyrite,” Tom said shamblingly.
“I covered myself in the Golden Fleece of Colchis,” Tom said ramblingly.
“The poverty rate has increased 10% recently, but I don’t have any kind of visual presentation of its course,” Tom said pornographically.
“We should perform an autopsy,” Tom said wide-eyed.
“That tree is naked under its bark!” Tom said prudently.
“I can afford either an iPhone or a yacht, but not both,” Tom said on self-ownership.
“The guy who was installing the granite tops in my kitchen had a cardiac arrest,” Tom countermanded.
“We can stop progress by attacking a conference on new ideas with a many-headed monster,” Tom said well-hydrated.
“You’re a bell,” Tom told me.
“The wages of sin is death,” Tom said diurnally.
“Abortion is murder,” Tom said prolifically.
“Can do!” Tom said candidly.
“I have a present for you, Madame,” Vincent said endearingly.
“Arrrrrr,” Tom aspirated.
“My lower social status as part of the new rich prevents me from winning my true love,” Gatsby said lackadaisically.
“The Minoans sucked,” Tom said discretely.
“Well, if you think the Minoans did a bad job with their empire, you should try ruling them yourself,” his teacher said, giving him a B−.
“Ha ha, just kidding,” Tom ingested.
“Sheep can’t have sex changes!” Tom said, heedless of the ramifications.
“I wrote a synoptic Gospel,” Tom remarked.
“People used to lay wires across the country for the telegraph system, an early precursor to the telephone,” Tom said according to protocol.
“My laptop came bundled with malware that causes a serious security flaw,” Tom said superficially.
“We need artillery cover!” Tom said canonically.
“Someday my family will rule the world,” Tom said clandestinely.
“The West’s treatment of Palestine is an example of Orientalism,” Tom said.