Comments on: Who By Very Slow Decay

By: Pablo Stafforini

Pablo Stafforini — Thu, 14 Aug 2014 04:04:25 +0000

Not that it matters much, but your Wittgenstein quote is a bit inaccurate; here’s the correct version:

if a man could write a book on Ethics which really was a book on Ethics, this book would, with an explosion, destroy all the other books in the world.

Report comment

By: Words of the Week – a catch-up | seɪ.vɪŋ.feɪs

Words of the Week – a catch-up | seɪ.vɪŋ.feɪs — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 18:02:41 +0000

[…] this essay, sad but too true. Reminding myself daily that behind each patient is a person, and that even […]

Report comment

By: Kay

Kay — Sat, 05 Apr 2014 21:15:42 +0000

Thank you, thank you for a very cogent and compassionate post. There needs to be a change of cultural norms before some of this misery can be eliminated. In the end, of course, it is up to the individual’s will and ability to know when “enough is enough”, but I haven’t figured out how you do that, and obviously about 3/4 of Americans haven’t either. I only pray I’ll acquire that wisdom at the right time.

However, I also really worry about you – you absolutely need a vacation, preferably in a National park.

Report comment

By: Nancy Lebovitz

Nancy Lebovitz — Sat, 05 Apr 2014 14:22:37 +0000

https://thesunmagazine.org/issues/460/the_long_goodbye

Interview with Katie Butler, author of What Broke My Father’s Heart.

“My advice to anyone facing major surgery after the age of eighty is to consider all the risks. People at that age are often like Humpty Dumpty: it doesn’t take much to knock them off the wall, and then no one can put them back together again. My rules of thumb are: No general anesthesia after the age of eighty, unless there’s an incredibly good reason, because of the threat of cognitive damage. And no open-heart surgery after eighty either.”

Report comment

By: Jamie

Jamie — Sat, 05 Apr 2014 00:07:55 +0000

Wow. I know exactly what you mean. That poor, poor man. I am having a similar experience with my grandmother which has reinforced my beliefs that Kavorkian was a hero and most people are nuts. My grandmother has dementia to the point that she yells and moans the same thing non stop 24 hours a day, including the phrase, “please help me”. This is continuous except for 15 minute patches of sleep here and there as she no longer really sleeps just dozes. She weighs 90 lbs if that and is eggshell fragile screaming when touched due to degenerative muscle tears compounded by arthritis. Her bowels no longer work and she fluctuates between constipation, where the assistants administer a suppository, or she has explosive diarrhea that must be cleaned up which requires moving her excessively and thus more screaming and claims of pain. She is on peritoneal dialysis and has congestive heart failure with a pace maker, prior to loosing all capacities a few months back she was swallowing nitroglycerin like candy and up until she stopped walking entirely my mom was dragging her to doctors and what not. Even then moving was difficult and required wheelchairs and walkers. Her dialysis port is always sore and semi infected despite meticulous hygiene. She has a raging UTI on a twice monthly basis though she is bathed by attendants and her diaper and garments changed regularly. She is on oxygen though she does not even move about to use oxygen as she can no longer stand nor even muster the strength to hold a sippy cup. She has forgotten how to eat or even swallow and still she is forced to choke down at least 15 pills per day and takes the occasional bite if food which she may stop chewing and allow to fall from her mouth. Her mouth is so dry the pills do not even dissolve when they lodge so she has to be coaxed and coaxed endlessly and given water in a dropper. She has round the clock private care to the tune of a few thousand per month. I had rather this money go to medical research or a non profit hospital. This team also includes a physical therapist which is useless. She is always freezing and has to be by a fireplace or heater or covered in layers of heated blankets so comfort is hard to achieve. She is moved around like a doll with much ado and her screaming in pain which my mom would claim was from her dementia and not so much pain. Finally after months of this torture on her poor failing little body my mother is now considering hospice care mainly due to the cocktail of pain killers and anti anxiety pills no longer soothe her at all-I really have no clue why it has not stopped her heart. It has been surreal to witness this and I feel so bad for people who do not have the resources or loved ones for even this much relief if relief is what you call it. However I think my grandmother would have never considered euthanasia or absence of life saving measures if given a choice while she was cogent because she had an unhealthy fear of death even then. The way we view death is really twisted and I fault religious nonsense with a lot of that phobia. Modern medicine, while mostly positive, can be grotesque because it can extend life past a semblance of life. I personally have had a living will made since this despite being young and can only hope we make strides in having physician assisted suicide legalized so people have options.

Report comment

By: Jamie

Jamie — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 22:50:00 +0000

I stumbled across the link to your blog entry on Reddit and I am with you regarding the disconnect people have with death, especially in terminal diagnosis. I am witnessing this living decay with my grandmother and observing my mother’s rather strange life saving measures. It is unfortunate that Kavorkian’s methods are unlawful because his philosophy had merit for those wanting to die with a semblance of dignity. Sometimes death is better indeed.

Report comment

By: Kevin

Kevin — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 15:10:32 +0000

Wow. Great writing and very accurate from a patients point of view. I’m in my third month of being in hospital (broke femur, have external fixature) and I can affirm they are truly a hellish place to be, despite the nice decor, pleasant nurses, NA’s, etc. no matter what the put on the walls it’s not home. It is became clear to me though that illness/disability is the great equalizer… People from all walks of life are here, no one can escape.

Btw I will not be doing any hospital poetry, I will however pry for no more enemas to relieve the constipation that pain meds bring

Report comment

By: An Oncology Nurse on the Barbarity of the ‘Culture of Life’ | Andymatic

Fri, 04 Apr 2014 04:27:55 +0000

[…] to say that I’m severely conflicted about my current position, and am so grateful to read this article and this thread, to know I’m not alone these days in my […]

Report comment

By: Scott Alexander

Scott Alexander — Thu, 03 Apr 2014 16:18:34 +0000

You can use the pseudonym Scott Alexander.

Report comment

By: Eli

Eli — Thu, 03 Apr 2014 08:35:29 +0000

Ok, so? Why was “smash capitalism” not a subgoal of yours anyway?

Report comment